Of Love and Loss
by Maripics
Summary: A terrible case shows up in the worst possible time, and leaves a mark that will never fade. How will Kate and Rick deal with its aftermath? Set post season 5, Kate stayed in NY, but said no to Rick's proposal. Rated M for language and sensible content.


The trees moved oddly. The cold wind hurt when it hit her face. Her feet just moved, running, as far as she could possibly run, stepping on all kinds of rocks. She had no idea where she was, but it really didn't matter. She needed to get away, she needed to save herself. And no one had any idea of the sacrifices she had to make.

"Annie, where are you?" Xander called, his voice soft and melody-like. She hated how he always sang his sentences. It made him even more intimidating, even more disgusting. She could tell he was close, but the dark and denseness of the woods didn't allow her to see where. She had never been so frightened. Not the many times he'd hit her, not when he would force himself inside her. Not when she... no, this wasn't her fault. She was the only thing that made Anna want to live. But now she was gone, and Anna had to go away. There was nothing left to fight for in there. She just had to... "Gotcha." Xander mocked, holding her left arm. His grip was unsurprisingly strong, given how sore she was after each beating session.

"Please, let me go." Anna cried, barely managing to get the words out.

"Oh love. We both know you don't really want that." He said, grabbing a knife out of his back pocket and placing it on her neck. "I know you love me."

"No! Let me go!" She yelled, tears rolling down her cheeks as she felt the cold metal on her skin.

"Shut up." He demanded, tightening his grip and bringing the knife further down her neck "Now, tell me you love me." He ordered "Tell me!"

"No." She coughed "I hate you."

"Don't lie, you whore!" He yelled "Tell me, or I'll finish you right here!"

Anna didn't say anything. In reality, she could only think that death seemed so incredibly desirable right now.

"Alright. I've had enough of you." He said, keeping the knife close to her neck as he unzipped his pants. "But I can't let you go without that last hurrah, can I?"

X-X-X-X-X-X

"Lanie, what do we got?" Kate asked, walking towards the place Lanie stood. It was her day off, so she knew something wasn't quite right. She held a cup of coffee – one she bought herself – and her cell phone, hoping that Rick would call. They hadn't talked for over a month, and Kate was almost sure he'd finally given up on her.

She couldn't accept his proposal. She wasn't ready for it, and she felt like he wasn't either. She knew he would be upset, and that it would be hard for a while, but she didn't expect it to be over. Not now, not this way. They were supposed to have always.  
"The most terrifying body I've seen to date." Lanie answered, rushedly. She couldn't wait to get out of there.

"Gee, what is it?" Kate asked, taking a few steps towards the body bag "Can you?" she asked Lanie, hoping the ME would open the bag for her.

"Girl, I ain't touching that." Lanie said, getting a stern look from Kate "Right now." She finished, hoping she wouldn't look too unprofessional.

"I doubt it's that bad." Kate said, kneeling next to the black bag and opening the zipper. "Good God." Kate explained, looking at the heavily battered young woman. Her face had horrid bruises, and so did most of her body. There was dried blood between her legs, and her clothes had been ripped. It was awful, gruesome and sickening. Lanie was right, it couldn't get a lot worse than this. "Do we know who she is?"

"No. She had no id on her and the boys ran her prints, but she isn't in the system. I might know more once she's cleaned and we can actually see her face, but they scanned missing persons and she doesn't look like anyone in there."

"Great."

"She did have a necklace, though." Lanie said, pulling the Ziploc bag out of her pocket "A locket. It had a letter 'E' on it and the picture of a child."

"She had a child?" Kate asked, in disbelief. That girl seemed way too young for children.

"Hmm, I don't think so." Lanie answered. "The photo looks somewhat old. Maybe it's a picture of her as a baby."

"Can I see it?" Kate asked.

"Sure, here you go." Lanie said, handing her the bloody necklace.

"Yeah, I think this picture is of her as a baby." Kate said, studying both the woman's face and the picture "How old is she?"

"I can't know for sure until I run some tests, but I'd say she's in her early twenties."

"Alright, call me when you get them." Kate said, slipping the necklace back in the baggy. "And Lanie? Did you hear from..."

"I didn't talk to him." She answered "But Javi did, and he said the guy's a mess."

"Shit."

"Everything will work out, you'll see. You guys were made for each other."

"Call me when you get the results." Kate said, changing the subject and walking away.

X-X-X-X-X-X

"Lanie, did you..." Kate stopped walking as soon as she spotted Rick standing next to the examination table. "Hey."

"Hi." Rick said, sharply. "I'm gonna go, Lanie. See you later." He said, walking out of the room.

"Castle..." Kate said, before turning back to Lanie "That went well."

"Sorry." Lanie said, smiling compassionately.

"Yeah. Did you find out anything else?"

"Lots of things." Lanie answered "First of all, I can officially place time of death between ten pm and midnight yesterday. Second, she isn't in her early twenties. That girl is seventeen, eighteen tops."

"Crap. She's a kid."

"There's more." Lanie said "That girl has given birth at least three times over the past four years."

"What?" Kate asked, astonished.

"Yeah. Also, her entire body is covered in bruises, both old and new. Most of her bones have been broken a couple times."

Kate sighed. She hated this cases. The ones involving constant abuse and most likely, rape, were the worst ones. She usually had Rick to help her wind off after those, but not anymore. And it was her own fault.

X-X-X-X-X-X

"Yo, Beckett." Esposito called, walking towards Kate's desk. "We got something."

"What is it?"

"Her name. Her prints are not in our system, but it is in someone else's." He said "Churchill Prep."

"The prep school in the Upper East Side?" Kate asked

"Yeah. She was a student there up until two thousand nine, when she mysteriously dropped out."

"Why is it mysterious?"

"Well, she was the top of her class. She was two years ahead, and she was looking into early admission at Harvard."

"What's her name?"

"Juliet Fairchild. I got her old address."

"You coming with me?" Kate asked, getting up from the chair and grabbing her coat and keys.

"Can't. I'm working on something else. But, uhm, Gates said she'll direct you to someone."

"Fine." Kate walked to Gates' office hoping she wasn't one for dark humor. "Captain?"

"Beckett." Gates answered "You need something?"

"Esposito said you'd address someone to stay with me for a while."

"Oh, yes." Gates said "Mr. Castle, you with Beckett." Gates said, looking at Rick, who was sitting in a chair on the other side of the room, in a position Kate couldn't spot him at first.

"But..." Kate muttered, before Gates could shut her off.

"Detective." The captain said, with a stern look "Take Mr. Castle and go. This is an important case."

"Yes, sir." Kate said.

Rick got up from his chair and walked past Kate through the door. It would be a long day.

X-X-X-X-X-X

"Mr. and Mrs. Fairchild, I'm detective Kate Beckett and this is Richard Castle. We are here to ask you a few questions about your daughter." Kate said, as Michael Fairchild opened the door.

"My daughter?" Michael asked "Libby! Come down here!" He yelled.

"Sir?" Kate called.

"Oh, come in." Michael said, gesturing to Kate and Rick to enter the living room. The house was huge, with pricey furniture and gadgets everywhere. "My daughter is coming right down."

Kate and Rick exchanged a look. Perhaps they'd entered the wrong house, Kate thought.

"Actually, we're here to ask you a few questions about Juliet." Kate said.

Michael's face went from serious to completely numb in a mere second.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to tell you anything." He said.

"Michael, what's going on?" An older woman, whom Kate assumed was his wife, entered the room.

"Regina, this is detective Beckett and Mr. Castle. They are here to ask about Juliet."

Regina's reaction was pretty much the same as Michael's. Numbness, pain, grief.

"Oh." She exclaimed.

"We are very sorry..." Kate began

"She's dead, isn't she?" Regina concluded, her numb expression remaining the same.

"I'm... I'm very sorry." Kate said, surprised.

"What is it that you need to ask?" Michael asked.

"Your daughter was murdered." Kate said.

"Do you have any idea who might have done this to her?" Rick asked.

"We haven't seem Juliet for what?" Regina asked "Four years now?"

"About that, yes." Michael answered. "We know nothing."

Their lack of concern towards their daughter was baffling. Kate had seen negligent parents before, but not like this. Not the kind of parent who would simply dismiss the fact that their daughter was dead.

"Dad? Do you need something from me?" A young girl, whose appearance resembled Juliet's asked, entering the living room.

"No, Libby. You can go back up." Michael answered, without looking at his daughter.

"Sir, why did you and Juliet stop talking?"

"Juliet met a boy, a few months before she ran away." Michael answered "We knew he was trouble, but she wouldn't listen to us. She went from being a straight A student to a failing one in a couple of months."

"Did she meet him at Churchill Prep?" Rick asked.

"No. I don't think he was from anywhere near."

"She mentioned him being from the lower East once." Libby said, startling the four adults.

"Libby, how do you know this?" Regina asked.

"I... uhm... she told me."

"Libby, do you know anything else?" Kate asked.

When the young girl didn't move or say anything, Kate understood that yes, she knew a lot more.

"Libby, we need you to tell us everything you know." Rick told her.

"Mom..." Libby called, a frightened look stamped on her face.

"It's alright. Just tell them."

"I spoke to Juliet t least once a month since she left." Libby began "He... he didn't let her go out of the house, so I went there to visit a couple of times.

Michael and Regina seemed to be struggling not to cry. Michael was a tall, respectable man, and seeing him almost crying was heart wrenching. Michael reminded Kate of her own father, the night they found out her mother was dead.

"The house was awful, and she looked awful." She continued "She couldn't talk to anyone, but when he was out, she managed to get to the phone and call me."

"I'm very sorry." Rick said.

"Who is 'he'?" Kate asked.

"The boy she ran off with, Xander." Libby said "She thought he loved her..." Tears streamed through Libby's face as she continued to tell them the story.

"Do you know his last name?" Rick asked.

"Norton, I think. Horton, Norton, Morton. Something like that." Libby answered.

"Libby, do you know that she had a baby?"

"Not only one." Libby answered "She told me of three, but I think there was one more. I think she was pregnant when she left."

"And do you know where they are?"

"She didn't talk about the first baby." Libby answered "the one she was pregnant with when she left. I think she miscarried." She continued to speak, through light sobs "The second baby, she named Ian. He was a stillborn."

The whole family was crying by then. Kate didn't even understand how Libby was still talking.

"The fourth baby was a boy. She named him Michael." Libby told them, looking at her father "He died when he was about a week old. Juliet said he didn't allow her to feed the boy, because he didn't want her touching any other man. He starved to death."

The story was the worst they'd ever heard, in real life or somewhere else. It was the kind of story that makes weak-minded people faint. The kind of story that made Kate wish the world would just end.

"The third baby..." Libby said, a sad, faint smile appearing on her lips "was Eleanor."

"The 'E' in the locket." Kate concluded.

"Eleanor was the only baby who survived." Libby said "I even met her." She said, pulling her phone out of her pocket "Here she is."

Kate and Rick looked at the picture. The little girl looked exactly like the one in the locket, but this picture was a lot clearer. She had big blue eyes and very light hair, chubby cheeks and a toothy smile characteristic of young babies.

"How long has it been since that picture was taken?" Kate asked.

"A year or so. Eleanor was two when I last saw her, about two months ago. It was the last time I spoke to Juliet."

"Libby, you said you went to visit her a few times. Could you give us the address?"

"I don't have her address. But I know how to get there." Libby said.

"Alright. Can you come now?" Kate asked.

"Detective, I'm very sorry." Regina said "I'm not comfortable with that. Libby can draw you a map."

"I... okay." Kate said.

"I'll be right back." Libby said, climbing the large staircase that led to the second floor.

X-X-X-X-X-X

"I think it's here." Kate said, as they reached a small cabin in the middle of nowhere. Perfect place to keep someone hostage, Kate thought.

The two of them left the car and walked to the front door. The house was old and falling apart, and a putrid smell emanated from the inside.

"NYPD, open up!" Kate yelled, punching the wooden door.

"Beckett, I don't think anyone is home." Rick said, peeking through the window. "Wait. There's a kid." He said "A kid and... I think that's a body." Rick said, panicked.

"Shit. Open up!" Kate yelled again, before using all of her strength to kick the door. "Oh god." She exclaimed, when the strong smell of death filled her nostrils.

It took her a few seconds to see the body Rick had pointed out. And it wasn't until something hit her legs that she noticed the malnourished child.

"Castle, could you...?" Kate asked, gesturing towards the small girl.

"Yeah." He said "Hey, sweetie, come here." He called picking the little girl up. "Sweetie, can you tell me your name?"

The child didn't answer. Instead, she buried her head in Rick's chest, whimpering softly.

"It's alright, sweetie. You're okay." Rick said, rubbing soothing circles in her back.

The little girl seemed to be about a year old. Her hair was messy and greasy, and the only clothes she had on – in November – were a long-sleeved t-shirt and a diaper. She was stone cold and incredibly skinny.

"He's definitely dead." Kate declared, after checking the man's pulse. He matched the description given by Libby, and the bloody knife in his hand indicated that it was a suicide. "Do you think this is Eleanor?"

"No. She looks about one, Libby said Eleanor was two." Rick answered.

"Come on, let's take her back to the precinct." Kate said, pulling out her phone to dial Lanie's number.

"We should give her something to eat first." Rick said, adjusting the little girl on his hip.

"Yeah, fine."

X-X-X-X-X-X

Kate paced around the waiting room. Not twelve hours ago, they'd rescued the little girl, – who was indeed Eleanor – declared Xander dead, given the little girl's custody to her grandparents – who refused to take her in – and were trying to keep her out of the system. The boys were checking potential adoptive parents, but hadn't found anything. Rick tried to pull a few strings, but was also luckless. Gates was in her office, trying to figure something out, and Kate couldn't help but worry about how much more that little girl would have to suffer.

"Detective." Gates called "I need to see you in my office."

Kate walked behind Gates into her office, wondering why she needed to speak to her. Gates never called anyone for any pleasant reasons.

"Sit down, please." Gates asked, gesturing towards the leather armchair. "Detective, Mr. And Mrs. Fairchild left you this letter."

"A letter?" Kate asked, even though it wasn't really a question.

Dear Kate

Libby here. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for finding out what happened to my sister, thank you for rescuing my niece, and thank you for making sure she isn't left to rot in some orphanage. It takes a remarkable person.

I don't know if you'll be able to do what I ask. I won't blame you if you can't. But I instructed my parents to do the only thing I judged right. I want you to take care of Eleanor. I am in no position to do so, and my parents refuse to even look at her.

I googled you. Youngest woman to make detective. Survived a bullet in the chest. Highest case-closing rate in the NYPD. Lost her mom at a young age. Is amazing. Perhaps the most fascinating woman I've ever heard of.

I know, it's too much to ask. But Kate, you can do this. You can take Eleanor in. You can help her heal. And right now, you're her last hope. Our last hope. Please, follow your heart, Kate.

Kind regards, Libby Fairchild.

.fuck. Was the only thing Kate could think. Did the sixteen year old girl she met half a day ago really just gave her custody of a child? No, she convinced her parents to do so. She practically begged Kate to take Eleanor in. Why? Why would she do that? Kate had just turned down a marriage proposal because she wasn't ready! She wasn't ready to get married, she surely wasn't ready to be a mother.

X-X-X-X-X-X

Fuck this. Fuck all of this. Fuck the damn microwave, fuck the day she decided to carpet the living room, fuck the suede couch. Fuck her, for trying to be half as good as her mother.

Waaaaaaaaah. Waaaaaaaaaah. Waaaaaaaaah.

"Please, please, go to sleep." Kate begged, holding Eleanor close to her chest.

Yup, she was doing it. She took Eleanor in. The hearing was in a week, but since someone had given her the custody... Eleanor was hers. Katherine Houghton Beckett now had a child. A living, walking, crying, child. And she had no idea what she was doing.

She wanted to call Rick. She needed to call Rick. She needed help, and he was the only person she knew that had had a child in the past twenty-five years.

Waaaaaaaaah. Waaaaaaaaah. Waaaaaaaaaaah.

Kate couldn't do it anymore. She needed help. She needed his help. She dialed Rick's number as fast as she could, as Eleanor struggled to free herself of her grip.

"Rick, it's me. I need your help."

X-X-X-X-X-X

"She's down." Rick said, without looking directly at Kate. "I'm gonna go now."

"Castle." Kate called, her voice filled with emotion "Don't go."

"Why?"

"Castle, I want to marry you." She said, getting closer to him "There's nothing I want more." She continued "But not right now."

"When, Kate?" Rick said, raising his voice then lowering it down again before he woke Eleanor up "When?"

"Soon. I just need some time."

"Kate, I can't wait forever." He said "I love you more than anything, but I can't wait forever."

"Not forever. Just give me a few more months." She asked "Please." She pleaded, speaking close to his lips. "Please, stay."

Rick inspected every inch of her body. She looked more vulnerable than ever. She was barefoot, and she was almost a whole foot smaller than he was. He couldn't tell her no. They were made for each other, there was no denying that.

"Always, Kate. Always."

X-X-X-X-X-X

**Author's Note: What do you guys think? Review, please!**


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